When I took up knitting over a decade ago, I never expected that it would help me overcome perfectionism. I knew it would help me relax and keep my hands busy, but I worried that I’d feel about knitting the way I felt about so many other things: that if I didn’t do it perfectly, there was no point in doing it.
Living with perfectionism like that can be debilitating. Usually, I end up procrastinating on something that I’m afraid to do badly, with the end result that I don’t leave enough time to do it well and virtually guarantee that I will, in fact, do a subpar job. There have even been times when I’m so afraid to do something imperfectly that I just don’t do it at all.
To Fight Perfectionism, Ask A Couple Key Questions
My therapist taught me to stop and ask myself two important questions: who are you trying to be perfect for? And what would happen to that relationship if you weren’t perfect? It turns out that nobody who really matters to me cares if I do things perfectly. My husband and my kid sure don’t. My parents don’t. Friends? Nah. The only one who notices and minds most of my little mistakes is (you guessed it) me.
This is where the knitting comes in. Over the last 14 years, I’ve made more mistakes while knitting than I can possibly count. Many of those items on were destined to be gifts. I gave them to their new owners with a bit of apprehension, knowing how many mistakes were in them. Guess what? Nobody ever noticed, and if they did, they sure didn’t say anything. They were just happy to have something pretty and useful that was made for them with love. That can go a long way toward helping you overcome perfectionism that’s causing problems.
In the end, knitting has given a way to practice being imperfect and being comfortable with that imperfection. I can make mistakes and see that they aren’t catastrophic. I learn to fix them, and then I grow from them. So here’s to learning to live with—and love—our imperfect selves and the imperfect things we make. Making mistakes is a normal part of living and learning, and nobody really expects perfection out of us. We shouldn’t expect it of ourselves, either.